walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
