My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
MIDGETS
????
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
