tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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