If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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