I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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