First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
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