I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
