he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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