My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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