I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just cropdusted the office
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
