I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
