meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
