I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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