i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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