super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
