Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
