How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
