No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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