Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This is classic penis vs brain.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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