He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
