toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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