Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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