I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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