so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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