I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
