The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
