Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
