Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I forget how to act sober
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
