sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
