I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
