We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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