You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
