i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize