i don't like sucking hair
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
