just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
