Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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