Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
