And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
then he tried to convert me to islam
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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