Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize