So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We got so high we made milksteak
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
