I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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