Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
