All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
