I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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