I hope mine doesn't look like that
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
