if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
