Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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