Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
