When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
