You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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