As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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