Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
