Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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