So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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