I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
