my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
