going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
