Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
